Having two small children at home has forced us to institute a phone tree
Your crying is very important to us. Due to unexpectedly high child-cry volume, we are unable to attend to you right now. To help us serve you better, please choose your desire from among the following options. Please listen closely, as the options have recently changed.
Press one for “Boob”
Press two for “Send the baby back to the hospital”
Press three for “No, seriously. Boob!”
Press four for “Alleviate generalized sibling angst”
For all other requests, please hold on the line and continue wailing.
Your crying is very important to us….
